cosmic comedy

My life changed drastically in the space of a single blink. I had a plan, but plans are notorious for changing. After riding for two years, I had developed a strong sense of confidence and thought I would never experience the same fate as the unfortunate people I had seen in crash videos. But there I was, flying through the air, hurtling towards the asphalt, yelling to God, "Why!"

Something that sees what we are unable to see exists and is beyond our understanding. Amidst the chaos, I adopted a comical approach. Every time I caught a glimpse of my injured self in the mirror, I laughed. Any of it could have happened for no reason at all.

Thoughts of death enter my mind all the time, but every time I get close, a strong desire to live overcomes me. Maybe this happened as a warning, as a message that this was what I really wanted. So I sat for six days with my ass out in a hospital gown, contemplating my existence.

Life does get better, but I realized it doesn't have to improve in order for me to find joy. Instead of looking for the right answers, I started looking for better questions. 

Oddly, even though I went flying into the air from my motorcycle headfirst, I never worried about dying. There is a future moment reserved for me, but it’s not now. I understood that luck can be cultivated and that somehow, with the assistance of a higher power, I had placed myself in this situation, whether I wanted to admit it or not.

My good friend Jason came to see me and introduced me to the concept of laughter as a response to trauma, which piqued my interest. It was strange and amusing that laughter could emerge from the midst of pain and suffering. Similarly, I found it amusing and ironic that I had never intended to rely on a walker, but that a single decision had led me to this fate.

All of life is just a crazy ride, I decided. It requires gratitude, humor, awareness, and patience to navigate its unpredictable turns. I came to understand that I can give this experience whatever meaning I want. I could view it as an opportunity to become stronger or as a gift of time for introspection. Nobody really knows why it occurred, but how I interpret it determines what I do next. Is it an improvement or a setback?

Now, the message I’d like to convey is one of celebration. Since every event has the potential to advance us, we should rejoice in everything that occurs to us. New beginnings are awaiting with each chapter's conclusion. Pain is progress.

I frequently have the overwhelming impression that everything going on is a dream—a dream within a dream. Like one of those dreams where you wake up thinking you are awake but then realize you are still asleep. Just when I think I have a good hold of something, the more I squeeze, the more it eludes me.

It doesn't have to make sense. If I took a picture of a circle in the sand on a beach with no context, our minds would naturally try to make up a story to make it meaningful. To you, that circle may represent something profound and beautiful, transforming your life, whereas to me, it may mean nothing or even have a negative connotation. The choice of meaning is ours.

I had an insightful conversation with my close friend Derric while I was in the hospital on bed rest. We talked, laughed, pondered, and contemplated together. These moments of reflection made me realize that it might seem inconsiderate of me, but I tend to avoid telling people about accidents. I expect to hear expressions of sympathy and apologies in response. It's the world's default reaction when faced with something that deviates from the conventional "good news".

However, anything can be good news.

Lost a job? "Yes! I'm thrilled for you! I can't wait to see where your journey takes you next." 

Going through a breakup? "That's amazing! The lessons you've learned along the way will make you an even better partner in your future endeavors." 

In the grand scheme of things, every event is inherently neutral, and it is our interpretation that assigns positivity or negativity to it.

I have a great deal of admiration for people who, upon learning of situations like mine, immediately change their tone to one of gratitude. Nobody should feel sorry for me. Instead, I wish for a world where people get excited when they see others going through difficulties, accidents, or mistakes. Our interpretations of these events can inspire faith, motivation, and resilience rather than despair and despondency. So, let's get excited! We made it through, and everything is all good baby!

Life is a trip—a journey filled with moments where we stumble and fall. Sometimes, life hurts, those moments remind us that we are ALIVE! There are countless metaphors for life—being a trip, an ocean with its ebbs and flows, a battlefield, a challenging game, or a theater play. From what I have experienced during my relatively short time here, it has been all of those things and more.

I embrace the cosmic comedy, the drama, the growth, and the pain as I continue on this journey. I work to find the beauty and meaning buried within life's twists and turns through reflection and gratitude. It is my hope that others may find inspiration in celebrating their own experiences, finding solace in knowing that every chapter closed paves the way for a new adventure. Life's a trip, and I'm ready to trip over it, embracing every moment with open arms.