everyone you care about was a stranger once

In today's society, we're often taught to view strangers with suspicion and fear. It's a mentality that can cause us to pass up opportunities for meaningful relationships and priceless life experiences with people we might otherwise ignore. But one of the most fulfilling things in the world for me is striking up a conversation with a total stranger and witnessing it develop into a magical exchange.

After finishing a chest workout at the gym one night, I went to the sauna. I sat alone for about 5 minutes until a stranger walked in. He had a commanding stride, was over 6 ft tall, with a powerful physique. As intimidating as that may sound, there were nuances in his countenance that hinted that he was friendly and approachable.

I started the conversation with a situational opener by saying, "I'm trying everything I can to keep my mind off of this heat right now, but it's not working." He picked up the conversation like we were already good friends and provided a solution for me that involved using the power of my imagination. Just from that, I could tell I would like his other ideas.

We spoke, and I mentioned some of the struggles that were heavy on my mind, and he revealed his name was Pete. He claimed that even at the age of 38, life is still far from easy, but that there are some lessons he's picked up along the way that have helped him find peace amidst the chaos all around us.

He shared a beautiful philosophy with me: "So many people think that time is the most precious resource, but it's not." Intrigued, I asked. "If it's not time, then what is it?”

He answered, "Energy. That is the most important resource we have.” What would happen if we had unlimited time but no energy to use it?

That simple question completely blew my mind. Just before he walked into the sauna, I was feeling stressed out about how little control I had over the endless bills, my insufficient income, my unpaid debts, and worst of all, how little time I had to get these challenges under control. But Pete’s words made me see things differently.

He used the analogy of always ensuring our cups are full. Constantly investing our energy in pointless endeavors, unnecessary worrying, and unproductive relationships is a recipe for depression, angst, low self-esteem, anxiety, and a ton of other internal struggles. If you had all the time in the world, there’s not much pouring you can do with an empty cup.

To combat this, he suggested practicing becoming a conscious observer of your emotions and learning how to manage them properly. By keeping a mental expense tracker of our energetic transactions to evaluate whether they are liabilities or assets, we can prioritize proactive and energizing thoughts and actions. 

By minimizing the activities that steal our energy, we can eliminate needless time-consuming worries and activities that drain us. It's a paradox, but by devoting more time to determining our priorities based on how they affect our energy, we actually have more time to devote to the activities that are most important to us. 

Pete, having experienced much more of the beauty and battles we face in life, reassured me and told me I’m much wiser than he was at 22 years old and that I had nothing to be worried about. He's lived a crazy life full of failures, mistakes, and poor decisions too, and he admits that even to this day he still drops the ball sometimes. 

However, throughout it all, he maintains his inner peace by keeping a firm grip on his thoughts and focusing them solely on the things that keep his cup full so that he can pour into others. 

It was just a chance encounter in a sauna.